Driving in Lebanon

“Turn left here” said Bassim.
“But there’s a sign saying ‘One Way, No Entry’”, I protested.
“Ignore it, Graham, road signs here are only for decoration!”
Being taught, trained and accustomed to British Roads, things here are, well, just not British. Driving on the wrong side of the road is the least of the many worries, partly because car manufacturers have put all the controls on the wrong side of the vehicle as a useful aide memoire and partly because the rule of the road is ‘if you can see an empty bit of road, then you’re free to use it’, and for almost anything to boot. Say, parking your hand cart, overtaking or most importantly making sure no-one else can, for example by leaving an oil drum full of concrete on it, so the bit of road you wanted will still be there when you get back.
But I get ahead of myself, probably because I’m thinking of driving and getting ahead of themselves and everyone else is what most road users here try to do.
Let’s go back to basics and imagine getting into a car with the intention of going somewhere. In the forties, in winter, in North America and Europe, where most cars were manufactured, it was important to run an engine for a few minutes after starting to ensure that lubricants were properly, well, lubricating. This is perhaps the only rule of driving carefully adhered to, even in high summer and a in a modern car. Anyway, time to move off, when it is essential to have mobile telephone glued to one ear, leaving the other hand free to operate smoking equipment, cigarettes and lighter; this is designed to show other road users that you haven’t the least intention of noticing their existence, never mind actually taking account of their maneuvers.
The corollary of this attitude is simple, no-one makes road signals. Partly because there is no free hand to operate them and partly because anyone seeing it would take blocking the announced maneuver as a personal challenge.
The Lebanese are a highly sociable people, so look for friends and relatives at all times in order to stop abruptly for animated conversation. No problem even if they are coming in the opposite direction. they stop too; oh! and don’t expect or give any warning. It’s expected to stop and request shopkeepers to bring goods out for you to peruse and maybe even buy, this is especially true of fruit and vegetables of which there is a staggering variety and abundant supply,
OK, so we have some idea what to expect on the open road, but what about junctions? Lebanon has purchased and installed a large number of continental style traffic lights. At major junctions, there is also a policeman directing traffic who may or may not be synchronized with the lights. As traffic police carry side arms, ignore the lights in favour of the policeman. This is not that simple as said police wear camouflage army style uniforms and can be difficult to spot, especially after dark.
You may by now have the impression that other road users are to be ignored, as you will be. There is one class for which exception has to be made and that is two-wheeled vehicle users. In an accident between a motor bike, scooter, push bike etc. and a car or truck, the two-wheeler is blameless by law. If you own a car, and someone rides his bike off a balcony, landing on your parked vehicle and killing himself in the process, you, as the car owner, will be arrested for murder. Such total immunity is abused, to the extent that I have seen bikes in the middle lane of motor ways driving unconcernedly against the traffic flow, while cars and trucks are swerving out of the way, but this is an extreme, even by the standards (or lack of them) here.
Just beside my flat there is a short road which has a no-entry sign at both ends. Perhaps as your might expect by now, traffic is happily flowing in both directions.